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A Consolation Triumph
A win is a win, it's true, but given how poor the team has been in the last three months, it would be inappropriate to do cartwheels of joy just because Sarri's assortment of numpties finally saw off the resistance of Malmo. Tis still not the stuff of world beaters, and it remains difficult to envisage a happy ending to Sunday's cup final. Of course the permanent departure of the bewildering Sarri would indeed constitute a happy ending. This victory takes Chelsea into the last sixteen of the Europa League, but it really shouldn't fool anyone. Chelsea are still going nowhere slowly.
It was Groundhog Day once again, as the manager refused to drop or replace Jorginho, refused to bring on a second striker, and the team refused to score. This goal-shy team is inept in the final third. No wonder young Hudson-Odoi wants to leave. Hopefully the Russians who are mismanaging this club will either take themselves off elsewhere or move the stubborn, incompetent old manager on to pastures new. Sarri's philosophy is a joke. Chelsea don't need another ego who overthinks strategies and tactics. A manager who seeks quicker attacks and preferably two up top is what Chelsea need. They don't need any more experiments with nonsense philosophies. Zola reckons that Sarri needs more time, which inevitably means more time to fail. A replacement, preferably Zinedine Zidane, is drastically required.
A Forgettable Win
It wasn't exactly a Valentine's Day massacre, but beleaguered Chelsea just about got the job done in Sweden by securing a crucial away win that firmly plants one foot into the next round. All that remains should be a routine home triumph next Thursday against the same opposition. The trouble is that the late consolation for Malmo still leaves the door ajar for a possible upset, thereby obliging incompetent Sarri to field a strong team for the return leg. A more comfortable victory margin could have facilitated an outing for Chelsea's second string, thus enabling the first choice numpties to rest ahead of their ritual cup final slaughter at the hands of big bad Manchester Mercenaries. Nevertheless a win is a win, but this kind of mediocre fare will not suffice against a rejuvenated Manchester United next Monday night.
Completely Dismantled In Manchester
A big congratulations to the champions Manchester Mercenaries who were everything that Chelsea aren't: creative, exciting, and lethal. A hat trick from Aguero, a double from Sterling, and a strike from Gundogan condemned the visitors to their biggest spanking since April 1991 when Nottingham Forest put us to the sword. The away team are now in a more realistic sixth position in the league. Their cause is being perpetually undermined by an unyielding and evidently clueless manager. Sarri appears to be on a par with AVB and Scolari in terms of incompetence. He insists on playing the ineffective Jorginho. The manager must either drastically amend his formation and tactics or else reshuffle his team. A failure to ring the changes smacks of Einstein's theory of insanity. Either this Italian misfit swallows his foolish pride, or else he needs to be moved on whereby he can experiment with his nonsense system and team selection elsewhere. Meanwhile, let's hope that Manchester Wannabes stop Liverfools from winning the league.
A Five-Goal 'Reaction'
Apparently this thrashing against the worst team in the league was a 'reaction' to the horrible thumping at Bournemouth. Although the Blues end up with a plus one goal deficit from the last two fixtures, there is a complete futility about the ludicrous cycle of defeat followed by a 'reaction', then soon after another setback followed by yet another tiresome 'reaction'. Unless a reaction metamorphoses into a prolonged run of at least a dozen matches unbeaten or at least six wins on the spin, then this victory represents little more than a false dawn. With three matches against the Manchester giants and a Tottenham fixture lying ahead in the next month, I suspect that this outstanding result won't be the start of better times. I'd be very happy to be proven wrong.....
Embarrassing, Laughable Nonsense
Not unlike their December setback at Wolverhampton Wanderers, Chelsea capitulated in the second half on a freezing night on the south coast, having dominated the match until the interval. The hosts taught the overpaid visitors a lesson in scoring goals, and this fiasco is proof that the two cup wins of last weekend were merely papering over the cracks. Sarri claims that he can't motivate the players, which doesn't bode well at all. If his goal-shy players cannot respond to going behind, then every team will be encouraged to take the lead, knowing that Chelsea don't appear to have the stomach or the know-how to reply.
Another Cup Success
Gonzalo Higuain's debut outing for his latest club didn't exactly go to plan, but he will quickly discover, like his two predecessors, that service is slow and infrequent from the Chelsea creative department. That said, two members of our erratic creative department got themselves on to the score sheet. Willian, who has to be one of the coolest and most dependable penalty takers ever, helped himself to a pair of goals. The other wide boy, young Hudson-Odoi also scored what might be his last Chelsea goal, as he has submitted a transfer request. It would be a tragedy to let Callum go and quite possibly watch him flourish for rivals in future years, but the prodigy presumably wants to force himself into the attention of the national team, and spending too much time on the Chelsea bench will certainly not achieve that particular aim. At least on a positive note, the removal of Arsenic, Evercrap, Liverfools, and Rottenham from the FA Cup has opened up huge possibilities for the cup holders, with only the terrible twins of Manchester likely to stop Chelsea retaining their trophy.
Chelsea Conquer Depleted Tottenham
Chelsea deservedly progressed to yet another cup final, while Tottenham Wannabes successfully avoided silverware yet again. The contest should have been put to bed long before the drama of a penalty shootout, but Chelsea wouldn't be Chelsea if they didn't make life difficult for themselves. Monsieur Giroud, soon to be displaced by the recently-arrived Higuain proved to be as wasteful in front of goals again, thereby vindicating his manager's evident lack of faith in him. In truth, this match almost certainly was a play-off to determine who would be runners-up to hot favourites Manchester Mercenaries on the last Sunday in February. Still, it's good for club morale to have a big day out at Wembley stadium to look forward to. I just cannot see how we can beat Manchester Mercenaries twice in the same season. This win, good though it was, still doesn't paper over the cracks.
Another Derby Shocker
How very appropriate that the team that fielded two proper strikers scored two goals while the team that played no genuine centre forwards scored no goals. Although Chelsea 'enjoyed' an abundance of possession, they typically looked incapable of scoring a solitary goal against Arsenic. I hate this team right now and the people who are ruining the club with their awful recruitment policy. On the field, Chelsea are clueless in the final third. This is the same club that boasted Flo, Hughes, Vialli, and Zola in the same squad. This is the club that played Gudjohnsen and Hasselbaink in tandem. This is the club that had Anelka and Drogba playing together. However in recent years, the lone striker lark has been a serious drag. We've sought out misfits like Falcao, Pato, Giroud, and sulky Morata. We need to go back to two up top.
Another Narrow Win
For the second time this season, Chelsea took the lead against Newcastle United, the latter equalised, and then the former scored again to win narrowly but deservedly by two goals to one. Willian scored the all-decisive goal, with a delicious effort. However this was another patchy performance. It appears that the crowd are losing patience with Jorginho, the teacher's pet, who remarkably has not contributed a solitary assist this season. Jorginho is just the new John Obi Mikel, with a limited footballing style. What the team desperately needs is a dynamic, all-singing, all-dancing midfielder like a Ballack, or Essien, or even a Dennis Wise, someone who can tackle, provide goal assists, and also chip in with some goals. Jorginho is not ticking many of these boxes. Ahead lies two encounters with our lovely norf London neighbours. They will be a step up in quality from lowly Newcastle. It remains to be seen whether Chelsea will be sufficiently lethal to cope with these challenges.