Bernard Talks Of Career Breakdown

“I came back to Newcastle, went to America for an operation, to Canada, to Birmingham, but I never played competitive football again.

I was very unlucky, it was very hard to accept. I had a taste of football at the highest level and it was taken away with the snap of a finger. It killed me for a good year.

I was depressed, so miserable. I’d done everything I could, but nothing worked. I made good money for a young man, but not enough to set me up for life.

I can’t even enjoy watching Newcastle play anymore, I hardly watch any football at all.

I do go sometimes, but I find it brings back too many memories, good and bad.

It reminds me of what I had and what I lost. I wish I could be out there again. I’m only 31, I should still be playing at a good level. Just looking at the Newcastle shirt makes me proud, it was a big part of my life, but it was taken away from me and I resent that.

I need an operation, I’m in constant pain, but I’m scared. There are no guarantees that I will be able to walk properly afterwards.

It will clear up the pain, but I might have a limp for the rest of my life, I might not have full mobility, I might not be able to run.”

Looking back at his time at the club he said;

"That team was incredible. It was the best time, it was so enjoyable to be part of it. I had a manager like Bobby and figureheads like Alan Shearer, Rob Lee, Gary Speed. I was a young man and I was so proud to play alongside them.

It was a young team – except for a few, we were all in our early twenties, we were all together, we went out together. It snowballed, we could feel the force inside us.

We went to Arsenal, won in December, and we believed we could win the title. We had no fear, we were young and we knew we were good, too fast for people. There hasn’t been a quicker team than that. We tore teams apart.

If we hadn’t suffered with injuries we would have won the title in 2002, I still believe that. Sir Alex Ferguson said as much. Next year we were in the Champions League, beating Juventus, fantastic memories.

We should have won something – the Uefa Cup in 2004, injuries killed it. We lost nine players for the second leg of the semi-final, it was too much to cope with.”

Talking about developments at the club at the time he added;

"I wanted to stay. I was enjoying my football, but it all changed very quickly. I don’t regret what happened. I left because I had to. The club stopped negotiating with me. Bobby got sacked, Graeme Souness came and he had completely different views. He killed the momentum and the team. He sat me down in our first meeting, said this is the contract, sign it now or you’re out.

He said ‘I’ve got another player to come anyway, I don’t think you’re that good’. That player was Celestine Babayaro. I was really upset. I said ‘you don’t even know me, you’ve hardly seen me play.’ He wanted me out and I went.

Everything was perfect for me, Souness ruined it. He deflated everything and everyone left. He didn’t like young players, he didn’t like difficult characters, he ruined the club.”