58 things that 2009/10 has taught us
By Nathan Jackson
April 7 2010
It's been an usual season in which a lot of lessons have been learnt. We now take a look at 58 lessons that have been taught this season, including the realisation that City haven't had a penalty at Sincil Bank all season, Stefan Oakes actually completed 90 minutes twice this season, and the significance of "You're getting sacked in the morning"
1) If you're playing a non-League side in the FA Cup, they will ALWAYS claim they created more chances than you.....even if you had the exact sa
me amount of shots as they did.
2) You can be a striker and only score once in 16 months (see right) worth of football, and yet get called talented by your manager.
3) A manager has every right to complain about having no money for transfers after already bringing in 15 new players in five months.
4) You watch your local rivals fail to win in 25 games and yet still be in danger of them overtaking you with six games to go.
5) That regardless of how poorly the opposition have done up until that point, you will always lose if playing away in the Johnstone's Paint Trophy.
6) Coming on loan as a striker and failing to score will still garner praise from your manager.
7) Being a Bermudian hero certainly doesn't mean you're good at football.
8) Australian midfielders can jump like kangaroos when there's a header to be won.
9) Returning for your 3rd spell at a club (see left) is a bad idea as underperforming will tarnish fan's memories of the previous two spells.
10) Just because you've got 8 games in four weeks, it doesn't mean you're necessarily going to get a lot of points.
11) That you on occasions only secure a clean sheet because none of the opposition's eighteen shots on goal were on target.
12) If you're away at Sincil Bank, drawing 1-1 after being 1-0 up, watch out for Ian Pearce sneaking up at the back post in the final minute of adding on time.
13) That even mentioning the word Kettering in passing conversation is, in Imrak Laddak (cock!) ‘s eyes, "always going on about them"
14) Premier clubs are more likely to organise chastity in a brothel than get their ticketing process sorted out.
15) It's still always Paul Mayo's fault.
16) As soon as it becomes public knowledge that you've got a striker who has scored five goals in five games, that striker will then have three/four defenders around him during every game.
17) You really shouldn't kick the ball straight to Notts County from kick off.
18) That you really should look up after you've only been playing for 20 seconds and are facing your own goal with the goalkeeper running out. 
19) Never leave the game early as you're likely to miss Danny Hone (right) getting a rare goal in the 97th minute.
20) Jarnail Singh is still a crap referee.
21) That Leon Mettam is still waiting for the opportune moment to make us realise it was a mistake releasing him.
22) Any manager who most rated as dire will come back with his new side and get four points off of you during the season.
23) The catering at Sincil Bank is still shocking!
24) You can start a game with your friends as to what configuration the tables in the Trust Suite will be at the next home game.
25) An astro turf, covered in sand that will get blown everywhere, is not the best place to land a helicopter carrying a world famous trophy.
26) Regardless of whether they were at the game or not, people on the shops will always have an opinion the performance.
27) Even if your Hungarian defender goes into the non-league after you've released him, it was still a mistake releasing him....apparently.
28) It's alright to celebrate like a prat when you've scored two goals away at Northwich Victoria.
29) Non-League sides always deserve to win an FA Cup game, regardless of who was the better team.
30) That you can be a Welsh defender (left), think you're too good to be at the club, reject the contract, go to a team in a higher division to sort of prove your point, only to then struggle to even make their bench.
31) That you can be a Romanian striker, think you're too good to be at the club, reject the contract, go to a team in a higher division to sort of prove your point, only to then struggle to even make their bench.
32) That you can be a French midfielder, think you're too good to be at the club, reject the contract and go to a team in a higher division to sort of prove your point. You even go as far as to score in your first two games, only to then struggle to even make their bench.
33) That you can be a little, ginger, waster of a footballer, reject your new, undeserved contact offer, go to Lincoln United, struggle to make an impact before getting released by them midway through the season.
34) That there's nothing strange in someone singing "Mr Bojangles" in the middle of the Cathedral.
35) That you can sing "You're Getting Sacked in the Morning!" at the opposition manager, only to then sing the same at your own manager two weeks later.
36) That if you sing "Sacked in the Morning" at Darlington in the Johnstone's Paint Trophy, it will actually come true.
37) That Hereford will make no effort whatsoever to keep a game on if they don't want to play it.
38) That even if your main central defender gets injured midway through the match, Sutton would rather bring Shane Clarke (a midfielder) on rather than Danny Hone (a defender) to replace him.
39) It's apparently perfectly acceptable to be 1-0 down away from home and replacing your injured attacking midfielder with a defender.
40) That regardless of the opposition, Leeds United's cup games will ALWAYS be on TV even if several other games, including your's, are more attractive.
41) That losing 5-1 after extra-time to a team two divisions above you is seemingly enough justification for your ex-Director of Football to get sacked by their new club.
42) Your club will claim there's no more money left for your current manager, but loads will then appear as soon as you appoint another manager.
43) That we might not necessarily be going to Rochdale every year afterall.
44) That the opposition striker being blown over by a breeze is worthy of a red card and a penalty, but a blatant foul later on in the same game that probably denied a goal that would have levelled the game, isn't even a yellow card.
45) There are still some stands in the League made of prim
arily of wood (looking at Torquay and Chesterfield)
46) Just because your ego extends to putting "LEGEND" in your Facebook name (see right), it doesn't actually mean you're any good at football.
47) That despite your only goal in 20+ games (competitive or otherwise) coming against AFC Goole in the pre-season, you are still a vital part of the team.
48) Fans of other clubs will always think that it's unfair you've sacked their former manager, even if it's statistically proved he was a bit rubbish.
49) Your midfielder can score a brilliant goal from 35 yards on the half volley, but Omar Daley of Bradford will get more praise for scoring from the edge of the area.
50) That even when a Manchester based team heading for the title near enough fills their ground against you, they blame their attendances on the bigger clubs in the area.
51) A striker will think it's unfair you've released him, even though three of his four goals came against non-League sides and the other came from a corner.
52) You can go nearly an entire season without having a single penalty at home.
53) If you're going to take a penalty against Lincoln that would get it back to 2-2 after the Imps have dominated the whole match, it's generally a good idea to get it on target.
54) If you're going to take a penalty against Lincoln to give yourself a hat-trick, it's again an idea to get it on target.
55) A caretaker manager can still considered one of the favourites to get the job permanently, even after he's lost four of his five games in charge.
56) That everyone, according to a media publication, is a former <insert former team> ace.
57) Being nowhere near the first team is still better than working part time at Debenhams.
58) Stefan Oakes is actually capable of a full 90 minutes (he achieved it twice this season).
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60. Despite 3,000 witnesses all seeing City outplayed and lose 1 - 3 we have a manager who thinks we should have won!
63. If you ignore No. 62, then don't do it a second time in the same season.
