MAN UNITED AWAY. 23RD NOVEMBER.

By Mark Deeks
November 24 2002

MAN UNITED AWAY.
23RD NOVEMBER.

Oh for god's sake! Why? Why did this have to happen like this? I don't know where to start...... NO that's a lie! I DO know where to start.

Boys.
Carriers of my hearts desires.
Learn to control a ball.
Learn to control a ball.
Learn to control a ball.

This is only one of my gripes this season. The others being RRROBBBERRTTT MAAAANNNNN!, our lack of movement compared to last season, Gary Speed's nightmare campaign so far (am I the only one who's noticed?) and Dabizas' kamikazee approach to the offside rule.

Why is it, that the players who pull on the black n white stripes are incapable (apart from Super Al
obviously) of controlling a ball? It bounces off them, it spins away from them, it generally heads straight to the opposition. Go on. Next time you watch the toon play just observe for 5 minutes how many times NUFC players miscontrol the ball.

It's not that I can think of any particular examples to illustrate my point, you see, it's just something that has been becoming increasingly irritating.

Before I go any further, (and before you think that I have nothing positive to say so maybe I should shut up), I must congratulate Gosforth's finest on another marvellous achievement. The ton-up goal at Old Trafford was absolutely phenomenal Al, well done! To be honest, when Shearer hit it, the real time camera shot made it look like it had gone wide for a second because the ball was a blur across the screen and you didn't see it hit the back of the net. But when you realised it had...... Amazing strike. Surely one of the best. If only it had come in better circumstances.

Right. Back to the problems. Let's not beat about the bush. We were pretty terrible at the back today. But I will say this. With a bit more composure I firmly believe we would have got AT LEAST a point out of it! Why? Because at 3-2, they should and would have been panicking if we had managed to hold on to that scoreline for more than 78 seconds! With 5 minutes steady knocking it around, the prawn sandwich eaters would have got edgy. Guaranteed.

But no. Instead, for the second time in the game, we shot ourselves in the foot and insisted they have their 2 goal advantage back. As for their fifth, don't even get me started. They don't just call Solksjaer the baby faced assasin for his finishing skills you know. That was a booking, pure and simple. Aaron Hughes does not go down like he's been shot for nothing. He eventually got back up rubbing the back of his head. I say no more. Scandalous.

When it comes to the end of the season and they're
giving out the awards for the best this and the worst that, I can only hope that someone will see fit to ignore our shambolic organising at the back, and give the Most Outstandingly Horrendous Example Of Crushingly Bad Defending In The World Ever award to the Man United defence on our third goal. I swear there were seven red shirts looking at tiny Little Craig on the edge of the six yard box, and not one of them moved as he disbelievingly nodded the ball into the net. That was absolutely priceless. If only it could have got 'us something out of the game. I laughed. Lots. Well you had to didn't ya?

So all in all, not a great day at the office. Mind
you, if JJ had been 3 inches taller and had taken his chance to make it 5-4 with 5 minutes left, it would have been grandstand finish. Bellamy and Speed both had other chances but it wasn't to be. According to the Observer on Sunday, we were the "most feeble team seen at Old Trafford this season". I don't think that's accurate. And more to the point, that's offensive. With a bit more guile about us we would have won this game. They were there for the taking, and perhaps that's the most galling thing of all.