Next Stop Goodison for the Seaman Comedy Roadshow

By Chris Kirwan
October 17 2002

I know that we’re all supposed to watch England games draped in a St George’s flag, while wearing a ‘Hackett’ England top and shouting our admiration Beckham et al, but I freely admit I found the game against Macedonia extremely amusing.

Of course the peak of my amusement occurred in the 12th minute when David ‘Safe Hands’ Seaman proceeded to wave in a goal direct from a corner. Anybody who’s watched Everton recently will have seen Pembridge’s dangerous corners from the right, whipped in with pace and curl. Pembridge’s corners threaten throughout, but it is his first corner of the day that is most problematic for the keeper, as he has to back-pedal and tip the ball over for another corner kick. It serves as a warning to the keeper, and also lets him know that he has to stay on his line until he can gauge the flight of the corner.

But for a keeper to be embarrassed in the way that Seaman has been must be extremely worrying for his coaches; his judgement and foot speed showed his age and could be terminal for his England hopes. If it had been David James that had made two crucial errors in his last three games then he would have been replaced quicker than you could say “Gobshite”. Of course Seaman isn’t helped by his choice of hairstyle, he makes himself an easy target through his efforts to disguise the retreat of his hairline. I can only assume that he has a bet with the comedian Bill Bailey for who can cultivate the most embarrassing hairstyle in the public eye.

Even if Seaman’s England career has come to an end he is still firmly Arsenal’s number 1. The only backup to him at Highbury is Stuart Taylor and some Swedish bloke. I imagine that he is highly relieved that Arsenal failed to complete the signing of Carini, the Uruguayan first choice, else he would be under great pressure on two fronts. So we can expect Seaman to be in goal when Arsenal travel to Goodison on Saturday, and I’m sure the Park End and Gwladys Street will be very sensitive to his concerns.

The game on Saturday is a game that will be the greatest test for Everton at home this season. So far the Blues are unbeaten at Goodison, but Arsenal are rampant, and it’s to be assumed that Everton will have to score at least once to get a point. You’ve got to admire the way that Arsenal are going about their business, they’re playing fantastic football, and are making sure that the Red-Shite cannot make the most of United’s fall from grace. The Blues showed at Old Trafford that they are not intimidated by anybody, and perhaps entering a game with no pressure on them will get the most out of Moyes’ men. Nobody expects Everton to be the team to derail the Arsenal bandwagon, and perhaps the Blues will avenge last season’s fluke by Sylvain Wiltord.

The game will see Richard Wright and Kevin Campbell come up against their former employers, and ironically it could be Wright that profits from Seaman’s mistake. He has slipped behind Paul Robinson in the pecking order, but is starting to look at home in the Everton team. The game also sees the return of Franny Jeffers, who has been playing superbly for the England U-21s, and Dumbo is sure to get a ‘warm’ reception. Good news for the Blues comes with the reports that Tony Hibbert has shaken off the injury that prevented him from taking part with the England U-21s. He has been superb this season, and Moyes will need strong performances from 1 to 11 if the Blues are to get a result.