Champions Demolish Newcastle

The Blues have now ascended to the dizzying heights of twelfth position after a trouncing of mediocre Newcastle. In fact, the Magpies were so terrible that even Pedro managed to score in each half, first with his left foot and secondly with his right. Chelsea can now realistically leap into the top ten, but their next league commitment is a trip to our bogey team, the in-form Southampton. Before then, there is the small matter of a trip to Paris in the Champions League followed by the visit of Manchester Mercenaries in the FA Cup on Sunday afternoon. If the Blues can take their fine form against Newcastle into those two fixtures, then they still might salvage something from the wreckage of this car crash of a season.

Just for once, the English champions (we still are!) were fast out of the blocks with three goals inside the first twenty minutes, assisted by a generous Newcastle defence that appeared to have laid odds on at the bookmaker that they would concede plenty, because that is precisely what they proceeded to do. Hazard should have added another when he was clean through on goal but the Belgian who cannot buy a goal from open play contrived to tackle himself as he shaped to shoot. There was no such misfortune for the livewire that is Traore. Peculiarly preferred to Remy as Costa's replacement, the young prodigy justified his manager's decision with an excellent fifth goal after Dave had executed a brilliant one-two. Fabregas was at his creative best in this performance, certainly eclipsing man of the match Pedro. The latter may have bagged a double and could have scored a third in the first half, but otherwise I thought that he was fairly anonymous and certainly not a patch on Hazard, Willian, and the outstanding Costa.

The Costa-Willian axis was something to marvel at. After the Brazilian had sent the Spanish bandit through to squeeze home the early opener, the striker returned the compliment with an absolutely exquisitely timed pass into the path of the onrushing Willian who was left with the simple task of passing the ball beyond the Magpies' goalkeeper for goal number three.

Why oh why could we not have had this fixture and effort back in August? Everything might have turned out so much different, as momentum can stem from such occasions. Even more bewildering is how Manchester Mercenaries pulled out all the stops to assassinate us back on the second weekend, but in recent times they have shot themselves in the foot with inept displays at home to Leicester and Tottensham. Chelsea have not been blessed with much luck this season, and lo and behold Kompany has now returned to shore up the Wannabes creaking defences just in time for the clash against us. He's been missing for most of the season but somehow their defensive maestro is fit for both matches against us thus far.

Anyhow, there was much to be encouraged about. I thought Baba played just like another Baba, Mr Babayaro, attacking wirth enthusiasm but still looking patchy in his own defensive third. Meanwhile, it is apparent that the January signing Miazga is not on Hiddink's immediate plans, as he was not on the bench and therefore not in line to fill the considerable void when captain Terry had to vacate the field.

Regrettably, JT is not fit to return to Paris tonight, so we must make do with the shaky-looking partnership of Cahill and Ivanovic. The PSG attackers must be licking their lips, while Courtois must be steeling himself for a night of ample goalkeeping practice. At least we look sharp when we venture forward, which is a good sign. Who knows? Maybe Hazard will score. There again, maybe pigs will fly........  

CHELSEA 5 Newcastle United 1; half time: 3-0.

CHELSEA goal scorers: Costa; Pedro (2), Willian, Traore

CHELSEA team: Courtois; Azpilicueta; Ivanovic; Cahill; Terry; Hazard; Pedro; Fabregas; Costa; Willian; Matic. Used substitutes: Rahman; Traore; Loftus-Cheek.

CHELSEA LEADING SCORERS:

Costa twelve goals

Willian nine goals

Oscar eight goals

Pedro five goals

Ramires three goals

Remy three goals