Another Miserable Result

On an afternoon when Rule The World won the Aintree Grand National, impotent Chelsea reminded us all that they are currently light years away from ruling the world. There is nothing more depressing than not just losing against mediocre opposition but failing to score in ninety minutes of futile toil. In the process, Chelsea surrendered their unbeaten Premiership run under senior citizen Hiddink in the most miserable of circumstances, contrasting with their encouraging fightback at Southampton and their demolition of Aston Villa.

This latest setback for this stuttering team only fuels the notion that without Terry we cannot defend, without Hazard we cannot create, and without Costa we cannot score. Oh I do realise that this hallowed trio were missing against Villa and clearly not required, but Aston Villa would be struggling in the bottom half of the Championship on current form, so it would be unwise to measure ourselves against them. Swansea City on the other hand are a mid-table outfit and present the kind of awkward assignment that we need to cope with if we are to return to the top of the English charts in the near future. Instead of which we have had a lousy season of dropping five league points against Stoke City and five lost against Swansea City and five thrown away against West Ham and four points lost in our duels with Watford. As long as we struggle in such fixtures, Chelsea will remain marooned in mid table.

There is also no point in thinking that our latest caretaker/interim/ temporary manager Antonio Conte is going to magically transform our fortunes. Conte enjoyed success with a very good Juventus team, competing in a league where at least three quarters of the other clubs are piss poor. England's Premiership contains only a handful of pushover teams and loads of obstacles that compare with a Grand National course. The bottom line is that Chelsea are just not that good and Conte will not be able to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

Aside from the obvious changes in playing personnel, there must be other 'developments'. Our transfers in recent years have taken us backwards rather than forwards, and somebody has to carry the can for such incompetence. That somebody must be Michael Emenalo. Also, I do hope that Conte appoints his own assistant, as Steve Holland is similarly surplus to requirements. Steve may be popular in the dressing room, I don't know, but is he a fiery motivator? No. Is he a tactical genius who has lots of wisdom to impart to the players? There seems to be little evidence of that either. Is he just very good at arranging the training cones on the playing field of Cobham? I honestly think that it would be best for all concerned if Steve was cut loose and granted an opportunity to prove himself as an astute manager by taking charge of a lower league team.

As for the squad, well our problems lie all over the shop. We have failed to score on our two trips to Manchester and away to Stoke and Swansea and Watford and Everton in the cup plus at home to Bournemouth, so both creating and finishing is an issue. Unhappily Pato did little on Saturday past to remedy that situation, missing a sitter, the Brazilian Muppet. Then there is the small matter of having conceded three at Manchester Mercenaries, three at Evercrap, three at home to Liverpoo and Evershit and Southampton, and two goals in each of our matches against West Ham and West Brom, so it is stating the obvious that our defending and goalkeeping has been far from cosmic. Unfortunately Miazga had a shocking first half at Swansea, being hooked from the team at the interval, which only gives rise to fears that the club may have invested in another misfit.

The bottom line is that the supporters got their wish on Saturday with a number of fresh faces and recruits named in the starting eleven, but the efforts of Loftus-Cheek, Miazga, Rahman, Pato, and half time substitute Kenedy did not amount to much. The reality is that we are just not very good. We need someone who can sign better players, and not necessarily fancy Dans from foreign fields who have never set foot in Blighty. We need a new coach with fresh ideas too. As for our next manager, let's hope that he specialises in miracles because he may need to produce a few. Any supporter who thinks that Conte is going to usher in a new era of success may need to dampen their expectations somewhat.

Swansea City 1 CHELSEA 0; half time: 1-0.

CHELSEA team: Begovic; Azpilicueta; Ivanovic; Miazga; Oscar; Rahman; Fabregas; Mikel; Loftus-Cheek; Pedro; Pato. Used substitutes: Kenedy; Falcao; Traore.

CHELSEA LEADING SCORERS:

Costa fifteen goals

Willian ten goals

Oscar eight goals

Pedro seven goals

Fabregas five goals

Traore four goals

Cahill three goals

Ramires three goals

Remy three goals