Jokes and Songs
By Jack Nolan
August 12 2006
Gills Songs:
GILLINGHAM
Gillingham, Gillingham, Gillingham, Gillingham......
GILLLLLLLLLLS
GILLLLLLLS, GILLLLLLLLS, GILLLLLS(REPEATED CONTINIOUSLY)
HESSENTHALER'S BARMY ARMY
HESSENTHALERS BARMY ARMY, HESSENTHALERS BARMY ARMY
SOUNDS BEST WHEN BEING PLAYED WITH A DRUM BUT ANYWAY YOU JUST BASICALLY REPEAT THE WORDS "HESSENTHALERS ARMY" CONTINIOUSLY, WHILST CLAPPING YOUR HANDS TO THE TUNE OF THE SONG AT THE SAME TIME.
EI EI EIO
EI EI EIO
UP THE FOOTBALL LEAGUE WE GO
WE ARE GILLINGHAM FC
WE ARE THE PRIDE OF KENT
AND IF YOU ARE A FULHAM FAN
YOU MUST BE F****** BENT
WE ALL FOLLOW THE GILLS
WE ALL FOLLOW THE GILLLLLLLS
OVER LAND AND SEA
AND SWINDON(shouted)
WE ALL FOLLOW THE GILLLS
ON TO VICTORY
ALL TOGETHER NOW......(REPEAT ABOVE)
THE LAST WALTZ
I'LL HAVE THE LAST WALTZ WITH YOU
TWO LONELY PEOPLE TOGETHER
I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU
THE LAST WALTZ WILL LAST FOREVER
IT'S ALL OVER NOW
NOTHING LEFT TO SAY
JUST TO HEAR THE TOWN END SING
LAA-LAA-LA
LAA-LAA-LA
LAA-LAA-LA
THE GILLS
MOLLY MALONE
IN DUBLIN FAIR CITY
WHERE THE GIRLS ARE SO PRETTY
I FIRST SET MY EYES ON SWEET MOLLY MALONE
SHE WHEELED HER WHEELBARROW
THROUGH STREETS WIDE AND NARROW
SINGING
CLAP CLAP-CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
THE GILLS
CELERY
CELERY
CELERY
IF SHE DON'T CUM
I'LL TICKLE HER BUM WITH A LUMP OF CELERY
(REPEAT)
YOU ARE MY GILLINGHAM
YOU ARE MY GILLINGHAM
MY ONLY GILLINGHAM
YOU MAKE ME HAPPY
WHEN SKIES ARE GREY
YOU'LL NEVER NOTICE
HOW MUCHI LOVE YOU
UNTIL YOU'VE TAKEN MY GILLINGHAM AWAY
NAA NAA NAA NAA NAA(EVERYONE JUMPS ABOUT AT THIS POINT)
COME ON YOU GILLS
COOOOOOOOOME ON
YOU GILLS
COOOOOME ON
YOU GILLS
COOOOME ON YOU GILLS
COME ON
WORLDS GREATEST TEAM
AND WE'RE GIIIIILLLLLLIIIIINGHAM
GIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLIIIINGHAM FC
WE'RE BY FAR
THE GREATEST TEAM
THAT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
THE GILLS
OOOOOOOOH WHEN THE GILLS
OOOOOOOOH WHEN THE GILLS
GO MARCHING IN
GO MARCHING IN
OH WHEN THE GILLS GO MARCHING IN
I WANNA BE IN THAT NUMBER
OH WHEN THE GILLS GO MARCHING IN
BLUE ARMY
BLUE ARMY!!!!!!!
BLUE ARMY!!!!!!!
(CONTINUOUSLY SHOUTED)
WE LOVE YOU GILLINGHAM
WE LOVE YOU GILLINGHAM
WE DO
WE LOVE YOU GILLINGHAM
WE DO
WE LOVE YOU GILLINGHAM
WE DO
OHHH GILLINGHAM WE LOVE YOU
Gills Jokes:
Q:Why did the Millwall fan cross the road?
A:To run from the Gillingham fan
Q:Whats the difference betwen Bosnia and The New Den?
A: There are still one or two safe areas in Bosnia
A Gillingham fan finds a magic lamp and upon rubbing it, out pops a genie.The genie offers the standard 3 wishes, but with a vital sub-clause added.......
"Whatever you wish for, every Millwall fan gets double what you recieve"
"Alright" says the Gill "i'd like 10 million pounds"
"You do realise that every Millwall fan will magically get 20 million pounds" replied the genie
"Yes, that's right. For my second wish, i would like the latest Ferrari style racing car, for to impress the ladies and the like" the fan continued
"Again, every Millwall fan will get double....." the genie bagan
"Yes I understand!" interrupted the Gill
"And for my final wish, i'd like to donate a kidney."
Millwall signed the star striker from Sarajevo United. After a few weeks of getting fit, learning the language - remembering to say f*ck every 3 seconds - the lad was picked as a substitute for his debut. He rang home after the game as he had promised."Hey dad, I came on with fifthteen minutes to go, scored a hat trick and was the man of the match!" " Never mind football lad!" his dad shouted " The house has been blown up, your kid brother's been kidnapped, your sister raped, your mum shot in the back, our life savings have been taken AND IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!"2 How is it my fault,"asked the lad"i've been playing football all afternoon" "of course it is your fault,"replied his dad"without you we'd never have moved to millwall!"
Did you hear Fulham have Argos as their new sponsors?
It's the only way they'll pick up any Premier Points!!
Have you heard that Fulham players are taking Viagra?
It's the only way that they can stay up!
What's the difference between Fulham and a toothpick?
A toothpick has more points!
Why does a Millwall lass wear knickers?
To keep her ankles warm!
What makes a Millwall lass's eyes light up?
Shine a torch in her ear!
Whats the difference between a Millwall lass and a Millwall lad?
A Millwall lass has a higher sperm count!
What's the difference between a Millwall lass and a walrus?
One has whiskers and smells of fish, and the other one lives in the sea
Why is a car crash better than a Millwall lass?
After a car crash, your not ashamed to tell your mates!
What's the difference between the Titanic and a Millwall lass.
Only 1500 men went down on the Titanic!
What do you call a Millwall lass with 2 brain cells?
pregnant!!!
Q:How can you tell ET is a Stoke fan?
A:Coz he looks like one
Q:Why are Stoke fans smelly?
A:So blind people can laugh at them aswell!
Q:Why does the river Mersey run through Liverpool?
A:Coz it'd get mugged if it did n't!
Q: Did you hear about the Millwall fan that tried to blow up a bus?
A: He burnt his mouth on the exhaust pipe
Q:Why did the Millwall fan climb the glass wall?
A:To see what was on the other side!
Q:Hear about the Millwall fan that swam three quarters of the English channel?
A:He got tired and swam back!
One day the Seven Dwarves's mine caved in and snow white rushed into save them. Suddenly she heard a voice in the distance:"Millwall are going to win the first division.""Thank Goodness," Snow White sighed with relief, "at least Dopey's still alive"
Q:Why did the Millwall fan cross the road?
A:To run from the Gillingham fan
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